Perfection often becomes a goal for many people. Who doesn’t want to be perfect? I was once trapped in that lies. There was a time when I always want to be seen as an ideal daughter for my parents, the best pal for my friends, flawless wife for my husband, and an excellent person for everyone. Especially I grew up in a traditional family who always taught me not to show my weak side and not to tell anyone about our failure. Everything must be seen as perfect and positive.

I am not saying that pursuing to be a better person is a huge mistake. I call it a trap because “perfection” often hinder us from being real to ourselves. The ‘what ifs’ inside my mind is usually the one that stopped me from becoming vulnerable. What if my people look at me differently if they know that I fail in certain areas. What if people hate me when I cannot meet their expectations? This leads to an unrealistic fear of what people think of me.

So many of us live our lives trying to please others to find acceptance and validation. Let me be honest with you, we are actually finding confidence in the wrong place. Our identity is not found in our accomplishments or failures. It is not found in the people around us.

The key to embracing our failure is to have a growth mindset. This has changed my view toward failures. A person with a growth mindset is not scared of their weakness. They are not defensive when someone gives them advice. They don’t only talk about what they’re good at. But they face their weaknesses and turn them into an opportunity to grow. They asked themselves, “what can I learn from this?”. They have the heart that always wants to learn. Now ask yourself — “What is something new that I can learn from my failures today?”